Self-Esteem & Self Acceptance
In the last blog we spoke about self-image and how we think and behave in relation to our self-image. We mentioned in order to deal with our self-image issues we must look away from physical realm deeper into the psychology of self, because it is the poor attitude toward self that manifests itself into problematic thinking and behaving.
I often time hear people talk about self -esteem, I still have not seen any human being with steam coming out of their ears. All joking aside I realize there are a great deal of us dealing with self-esteem issues. We may not notice it in our behavior but it is obvious from the way we walk, talk, and engage other human beings.
Well, I am here to say there is no such phenomenon as self-esteem, rather self-esteem is an epee-phenomenon. The real issue is self-acceptance, for if we fully accept who we are we will never feel bad about ourselves and the cognitive illusion we call self-esteem will be out of our lives once and forever and not only that the issues of self-image will be a none issue in our lives and now imagine how much energy we just released and imagine what we can do when we let go and stop being so critical of ourselves. But people say well Hamid but other people are going to be critical of me. I say really? In that case don't say anything, don't do anything, the moment you say or do anything people will be judging , Aristotle said that.
Therefore as you can see the issue of self-image, self-esteem are deeply connect to the real phenomena of self-acceptance and it does not mean that you should stop self-improving, it simply means accept yourself and don't make things worse than they are just accept yourself for who you are.
I like to share with you the Five Pillars of self-acceptance.
1. You are unique and multifaceted as a human being, don't get fixated.
2. You are ever changing and developing, so pay attention to your mental map, rules, believes and values as you are changing your mental map needs to be update, therefore self-improvement is the key not self-criticism
3. You can never rate yourself as a whole, since you are complex and are always changing, so being in the moment is key and being aware of this fact will allow you to let go and update your mental map.
4. You are imperfect by nature and so is everyone, if it comes as a shock just pick up a newspaper and read about all the human missteps and imperfection or look at your extended family.
5. So since we are so ever changing, unique and complex we can never be rating ourselves and if we do that rating is a snap shot in a given time period.
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Once we allow our conscious mind to accept these realities we will be more forgiving of ourselves and others and stop the vicious cycle of self-doubt, feeling bad about our-self, and our image.
Since we are multifaceted often time we take only one accept of our identity and identify and hinge our entire worth on that one particular variable, it is either a job, status, prestige, postal code etc. It is a dangerous way of allowing to accept and identify a person, and in the moment that any of these fragile variable is changed or we no longer identify with, then that is the moment that self-loathing and subjective tunnel vision kicks in and we will for sure experience the cognitive illusion of self-esteem and doubts about our worth as a human being.
Since we are so complex, often time our complex thinking frame leads to typical errors in thinking that will be the topic our next blog. Until then accept that we are all just human being , therefore just accept your nature!
I often time hear people talk about self -esteem, I still have not seen any human being with steam coming out of their ears. All joking aside I realize there are a great deal of us dealing with self-esteem issues. We may not notice it in our behavior but it is obvious from the way we walk, talk, and engage other human beings.
Well, I am here to say there is no such phenomenon as self-esteem, rather self-esteem is an epee-phenomenon. The real issue is self-acceptance, for if we fully accept who we are we will never feel bad about ourselves and the cognitive illusion we call self-esteem will be out of our lives once and forever and not only that the issues of self-image will be a none issue in our lives and now imagine how much energy we just released and imagine what we can do when we let go and stop being so critical of ourselves. But people say well Hamid but other people are going to be critical of me. I say really? In that case don't say anything, don't do anything, the moment you say or do anything people will be judging , Aristotle said that.
Therefore as you can see the issue of self-image, self-esteem are deeply connect to the real phenomena of self-acceptance and it does not mean that you should stop self-improving, it simply means accept yourself and don't make things worse than they are just accept yourself for who you are.
I like to share with you the Five Pillars of self-acceptance.
1. You are unique and multifaceted as a human being, don't get fixated.
2. You are ever changing and developing, so pay attention to your mental map, rules, believes and values as you are changing your mental map needs to be update, therefore self-improvement is the key not self-criticism
3. You can never rate yourself as a whole, since you are complex and are always changing, so being in the moment is key and being aware of this fact will allow you to let go and update your mental map.
4. You are imperfect by nature and so is everyone, if it comes as a shock just pick up a newspaper and read about all the human missteps and imperfection or look at your extended family.
5. So since we are so ever changing, unique and complex we can never be rating ourselves and if we do that rating is a snap shot in a given time period.
.jpg)
Once we allow our conscious mind to accept these realities we will be more forgiving of ourselves and others and stop the vicious cycle of self-doubt, feeling bad about our-self, and our image.
Since we are multifaceted often time we take only one accept of our identity and identify and hinge our entire worth on that one particular variable, it is either a job, status, prestige, postal code etc. It is a dangerous way of allowing to accept and identify a person, and in the moment that any of these fragile variable is changed or we no longer identify with, then that is the moment that self-loathing and subjective tunnel vision kicks in and we will for sure experience the cognitive illusion of self-esteem and doubts about our worth as a human being.
Since we are so complex, often time our complex thinking frame leads to typical errors in thinking that will be the topic our next blog. Until then accept that we are all just human being , therefore just accept your nature!
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